I just ran across a very insightful article on the Lovefraud blog by Liane Leedom, M.D. Her article asks the question "Why did he do this?" That's the big million dollar question asked by all victims of sociopaths. A typical, compassionate person most likely will never be able to fathom the answer to this question, because the sociopathic mind is beyond sick and impossible to comprehend.
In her article Leedom asserts that there are three main qualities that are missing from a sociopath.
1) The ability to love
2) Impulse control
3) Moral reasoning
I believe that impulse control is a biggie. I've read in multiple books on sociopaths that they are extremely sexually driven. That's a fact. Whether their hyper-sexuality is due to their apparent high testosterone level or just plain greediness, who knows. But when you've got the combination of a lack of impulse control and utter lack of moral reasoning, you can understand how sociopaths see nothing wrong with having affairs with multiple partners. Or with abusing their partner(s). Or with demanding total control of their partner(s). Or any of the other things that sociopaths do.
Well, sort of....
No, actually, not really.
I honestly can't understand it. Can't even begin to wrap my mind around it. But then again my mind doesn't work that way. So when a writer like Leedom attempts to answer the question "Why did he do this," you can analyze the qualities behind the sociopathic behaviors, but still, you're never going to find the answer you're searching for.
In my opinion, the best part of the article is this:
"One of the main reasons why victims high in empathy do not recognize sociopaths is that the desire for power is non-conscious. People high in empathy make use of their knowledge of their own emotions to interpret the emotions of others. Can you see then why people who rely on empathy in interactions with others completely miss sociopaths? An empathetic person correctly observes that sociopaths enjoy the company of others. He/she then self-references his/her own feelings of affection with regard to enjoying other people. The victim is fooled into interpreting power motivations as affection-related motivations."
Basically, the answer to the question "Why did he do this" is ... because he could.