OOP Survivor Blog

Four women and five children die every day in the U.S. due to domestic violence. Read President Barack Obama's Presidential Proclamation announcing his commitment to reducing the prevalence of domestic violence in our country.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Advice on how to deal with cheating

A friend, who shall remain anonymous, offered an answer and some advice regarding my previous post. I had asked what other women would do if they found out that their husband had been cheating on them the entire time while they were dating, engaged and newly married. My friend had this to say:

"I know that mind-boggled feeling...been there myself before. But just remember that he and his stuff are not about you. We go through life and sometimes we get someone else's "stuff" on us, but you were smarter than many women who think that if they stick it out a little longer, things will get better. Or worse, that it's their fault they got some of their guy's psycho baggage on them. You were amazingly smart and swiftly got out much faster than most. So don't let his shenanigans make you feel bad about you.
Being cheated on feels slimy, but we give the cheater power that he doesn't deserve by feeling that way for any length of time. I know I've felt emotionally raped by it, and they do steal our trust of others. But I decided a long time ago that men like that don't deserve my knowingly giving them my self-esteem.
What a total creep. If nothing else, all of this just validates that getting out fast was the smartest thing you could have done."

Thank you for the encouraging and very wise words, my friend!

1 comment:

  1. So glad you broke free from him, Kristin!! What a DOUCHE BAG. Does his job know about the kind of person he is? Or do they even care about the quality of people they hire? Can't believe he's on the prowl again on Match. SCARY.
    Your blog is a great service and resource. Keep it up - your voice is loud and strong. I'm hearing it all the way here in Boston.
    Hugs, Pam