OOP Survivor Blog

Four women and five children die every day in the U.S. due to domestic violence. Read President Barack Obama's Presidential Proclamation announcing his commitment to reducing the prevalence of domestic violence in our country.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

In the Domestic Violence song, 'Love The Way You Lie,' Eminem and Rihanna give accurate depiction of an abusive relationship

Released on June 22, this catchy song by Eminem is all over the radio these days. I like the beat, and whenever it's on the radio in my car, I belt out the lyrics right along with Rihanna. The song is so easy to relate to when you've been entangled in an abusive relationship. The fact that it features Rihanna is especially moving since she had her own struggles with domestic violence. When she sings, there are no tears, no whining, no regret or apologies....she simply puts out the truth of an abuse victim's perspective in a very telling, straightforward way.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie

Interestingly, the lyrics are written from the perspective of the abuser. It's filled with his heated arguing, excuses, and lie-filled apologies, and clearly shows the vicious cycle of abuse that makes up domestic violence.

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe, but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right, it's like I'm in flight
High of a love, drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Where are you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane....

You totally get how demented the thought process is of the misogynistic abuser and just how evil he is. The abuse depicted in the song is all too common, and anyone who has been abused will most likely feel the lyrics are all too familiar. It doesn't really matter what's said or done by the abuser -- abuse is abuse and the end result is that it feels just as degrading and horrific regardless.

....Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist at the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's a lie
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar....

It's a pretty deep song for Eminem and I think it may actually end up making a difference as young people are exposed to it and feel it resonate with them.

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