The nightmare of filing an Order of Protection against my husband

I filed an Order of Protection (restraining order or OOP) against Neil Zucconi with the Superior Court in Phoenix, and he was subsequently served by a Deputy Sheriff in California. Neil was my husband at the time that I went to court to obtain the OOP, although we have since divorced (and quickly!!). The amount of mental anguish and emotional stress and general fear that I've been dealing with in filing the restraining order against him has truly overwhelmed me. I had no idea how difficult it would be to go through the process of filing the OOP and then have him served. Unfortunately, there don't seem to be any real instructions on how to go about this process anywhere - I just kind of stumbled along. I did have the support of my local police department. They have been great, and I've leaned heavily on their Victim Services program for support.

In fact it was my local police who in the end had my ex-husband served. That in itself was a crazy and lengthy process. At first, I chose to hire a private process server, but that route can be expensive, and in my case, unsuccessful. Next, I was going to turn to the County Sheriff, but decided against it because if you are serving someone who is out of state, that is also costly. The last thing I wanted to do was pay $$ to have Neil served. It didn't seem fair, after everything that I'd been through. So I turned to the police, and amazingly, they were able to help me for free even though it was a logistical challenge having to serve someone who was out of state.

I'm in the process of reaching out to others who are dealing with or who have dealt with filing an Order of Protection against a spouse or significant other. It's not a fun thing to do. Especially when that person is in law enforcement. It's intimidating and incredibly stressful, even when you have the best of resources and a strong support system.

My Order of Protection Saga

I've started writing this blog as a way to work through the chaos of the past few months of my life. In expressing what I've gone through, I also hope to reach others who are faced with a similar situation and need to know they're not alone. Deciding to file an Order of Protection against someone else, whether they're a colleague, family member, significant other, or whatever, is stressful enough....and then you have to deal with the legal system. When I entered this realm, I really had no understanding of what an Order of Protection meant, the consequences involved, the cost, and the incredible mental and emotional toll. I've created this space here to write about what I've gone through and to work through the nightmare so that one day I can leave it behind.